I'm drained by my unfulfilling, low-paying IT job in Nepal, which I keep to avoid financial uncertainty. My skills after 2+ years are limited to basic Linux command line. I study subjects like Java, DSA, and Computer Networks, but I forget what I learn, delete my notes, and restart, making little progress. My resume and interviewing skills are weak, and lying on my resume hasn't helped.

I see three paths forward:

Land a better-paying private IT job (challenging due to my resume and interview anxiety).

Pursue a merit-based government job (seems viable but competitive).

Move abroad (unappealing due to anti-immigration sentiments and personal fears like living in unfamiliar places).

How can I break this cycle of ineffective learning, build concrete skills, and move toward a better career? Seeking advice on staying motivated, retaining knowledge, and preparing for government or private IT jobs.